A Snake
Member #024
PONDERISMS
>
> I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
> people die of natural causes.
>
> Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure
> you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to
> pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a
> valuable plant.
>
> The easiest way to find something lost around
> the house is to buy a replacement.
>
> Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out
> alive anyway.
>
> There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick
> and the dead.
>
> Life is sexually transmitted.
>
> Health is merely the slowest possible rate at
> which one can die.
>
> The only difference between a rut and a grave is
> the depth.
>
> Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
> lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
>
> Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder
> these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used
> to?
>
> Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
>
> All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
> It pays no attention to criticism.
>
> In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now
> the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it
> normal.
>
> How is it one careless match can start a forest
> fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
>
> Who was the first person to look at a cow and
> say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things
> here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>
> "Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the
> freezer?
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song
> about him?
>
> If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>
> Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
> Soup?
>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a
> dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on
> a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
>
> Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the
> bottle?
>
> I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
> people die of natural causes.
>
> Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure
> you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to
> pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a
> valuable plant.
>
> The easiest way to find something lost around
> the house is to buy a replacement.
>
> Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out
> alive anyway.
>
> There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick
> and the dead.
>
> Life is sexually transmitted.
>
> Health is merely the slowest possible rate at
> which one can die.
>
> The only difference between a rut and a grave is
> the depth.
>
> Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
> lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
>
> Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder
> these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used
> to?
>
> Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
>
> All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
> It pays no attention to criticism.
>
> In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now
> the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it
> normal.
>
> How is it one careless match can start a forest
> fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
>
> Who was the first person to look at a cow and
> say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things
> here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>
> "Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the
> freezer?
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song
> about him?
>
> If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>
> Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
> Soup?
>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a
> dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on
> a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
>
> Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the
> bottle?